ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
