now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
