You're a womanizer and a bitch.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
