So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You did what with his pubic hair?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
