Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
