he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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