whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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