She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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