a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
