You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
