dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
