I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
