My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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