Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
