I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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