there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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