I want to stick my p in your. b.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
