okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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