ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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