I hate your face
Sponge bath it is.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
how drunk are you?
Several
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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