you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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