i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
