she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
