so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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