I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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