1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If that was your dad, he is hot
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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