I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize