good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
