I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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