Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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