dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize