I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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