Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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