somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize