her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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