nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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