Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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