it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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