I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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