all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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