North Korea, Best Korea!
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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