with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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