i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
