Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Randomize