why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
