You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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