she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Randomize
