dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Randomize
