Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
