Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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