you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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