And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize