i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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