I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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