Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He has the fingertips of a God
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
