Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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