hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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