Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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