just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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