do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
