It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
