All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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