Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
