My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
