Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
