Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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