pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
