Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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