do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize