Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
