so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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