Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
