K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
