do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
