The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
