some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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