whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
