barbara walters just said penis...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
