Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
