Already got asked if we're dating
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize