I'm drive I can fine osifer
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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