I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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