i think my tv is drunk
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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