So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
