i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize